The Jealousy of Grief

I wish I could say that grief has made me more sensitive to others. It hasn’t. It’s made me even more selfish. Just what I needed. Seriously. So frustrating! On my best day I have trouble seeing past myself. This is not helpful. It’s also: normal. But, I still feel… Read more“The Jealousy of Grief”

The Shoes We Don’t Choose… A Mile In A Widow’s Shoes

When I started this book project (click the ” a mile in her shoes” tab for details) I imagined spending time in a Hijab, talking about schooling choices, testing the crunchy granola waters and finding out whether all tattooed people have been to prison and ride Harley’s. (Not so much…. Read more“The Shoes We Don’t Choose… A Mile In A Widow’s Shoes”

Maps, Apps and a Pain in the…Compass. In which I prefer detailed maps to carrying a compass but I’m getting over it.

North? South? East? west? Where is the sun? Where am I going? Where am I? Where am I going? How do I get there? Usually, I have no clue. To say I’m directionally challenged doesn’t begin to cover it. I get lost going to the bathroom. At my own house…. Read more“Maps, Apps and a Pain in the…Compass. In which I prefer detailed maps to carrying a compass but I’m getting over it.”

It is well, with my soul. If not my life.

My house is a mess. One dog is throwing up, and another seems to think the aroma around here should change. No, he's not a sudden Young Living fan. This is not an essential oil thing. Laundry? It's in process. In process of being rewashed for the 15th time. I… Read more“It is well, with my soul. If not my life.”

The Science of Grief

"To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." It's not just about physics. It's about love and loss. (Gah. I said it again. I didn't lose my husband. He died. If I lost him, I'd eventually find him. In the last place I look. With earrings that's usually… Read more“The Science of Grief”

A Holy Horror- in which the brutality of death collides with the mercy of Christ

I expected labored and slowed breathing. I expected the meds to be pushed to their legal limits to keep my husband comfortable. I expected pain and suffering. I expected a slow fade. I expected death. I expected God to be present. I thought I was prepared. I'd been present during… Read more“A Holy Horror- in which the brutality of death collides with the mercy of Christ”

Of grief and giggles

Grief. Is weird. It’s exhausting, it encompasses everything from savored joys to excruciating pain and everything in between.  It also makes you do weird things.  Like:  Awkwardly telling some poor kid just trying to wait tables for spending money, that your husband died and it’s Father’s Day …when she asks… Read more“Of grief and giggles”

In Memory of Kyle Solomon, My favorite person.

Dearly beloved, we gather today to get through this thing called life. (Some of you will enjoy the Prince reference, I know Kyle did.) We also gather to celebrate the life of and grieve the loss of my favorite person. Grief is a part of love and life. Everyone here… Read more“In Memory of Kyle Solomon, My favorite person.”

The Blessing of a Pastor’s cuss…

“I can’t control my tongue.” “I suck.” ” What kind of Christian am I, If I use words like that?”  “I hate this about myself. If out of the heart the mouth speaks.. I must be full of awful things.” This has been my inner monologue for months:( because I’ve… Read more“The Blessing of a Pastor’s cuss…”

Of Boobs and Bras: in which a well fitting, flattering undergarment that costs less than my first car, is as elusive as a kosher ham. 

Men friends? Look away. There are some things that should remain part of the feminine mystique. Or read on- maybe you’ll understand the insanity that is women’s underwear. If so, let it make you empathetic, not creepy. Carry on. Can we talk bras and boobs, for just a moment? It’s… Read more“Of Boobs and Bras: in which a well fitting, flattering undergarment that costs less than my first car, is as elusive as a kosher ham. “