Grief. Is weird. It’s exhausting, it encompasses everything from savored joys to excruciating pain and everything in between.
It also makes you do weird things.
- Awkwardly telling some poor kid just trying to wait tables for spending money, that your husband died and it’s Father’s Day …when she asks if you’re at Mongolian BBQ for any special reason. Did I mean we were celebrating his death? No… but it sounded like it. Awkward. Ps: your kids will want to smack you for this level of awkward.
- Deciding to fix your broken nail with superglue while waiting for the keurig to brew. Then, When ready, picking up your Wonder Woman mug to take it to “your spot”. Which would be fine, if, upon setting the mug down you didn’t discover it was glued to your finger because coffee goes flying across the room as you try to lift your hand away.
- Finding your iPod in the puppy pee pad box after a 2 day search. (Really? No clue.)
- Crying over dumb things like oranges and pop-tarts at Target. (Tip: ugly crying at Target scares people. It’s kind of fun to watch their faces.)
- Buying and returning dumb things. Repeatedly.
- Words become chopped salad – open your mouth and you never know what you’ll get. Often- accidental swears. Try to avoid the obvs almosts . *shipt *gag *pass *cluck etc.
- Cleaning that makes things dirtier. (I can’t be the only one who does this.)
- Laundry lunacy: the inability to remember how many times you’ve washed a load and when- leading to repeat washings.
- Randomly spouting awkward griefy things on Facebook, in person and to your kids.
- Laughing at weird things. And finding strange things funny. Like kissing your husband and hearing “I kissed a corpse” to the tune of Katy Pary’s “I kissed a girl.” In your head.
- Giggling raucously at the funeral start when your MIL with dementia sweetly and loudly asks your pastor if he’s a Christian… then the funeral director. And probably some strangers-Because she’s just making sure. (I’m not the only awkward one;)
- Finding all your loved ones stashes and laughing at the cray cray. (Really? How many headphones does one person need? Eyeglass cases? Old wallets? Or, notebooks with one note written in them? (Ok. I should recant that as cray… cause momma has a journal addiction !)
- Getting ticked that your loved one did that annoying messy thing again… only to realize it was you. (Apparently I’m a pig.) You can’t blame dead people. Who knew?
- Suddenly deciding some task is a 10 on the importance scale of life and must be completed immediately. Like dying your roots when you need to be somewhere. Or, insisting on mopping before leaving for a concert. (Why? No clue.)
- Like getting a puppy because your life isn’t crazy enough. Welcome Peanut. She’s a mutt. Duncan, Carson and Bella all love her. She brings extra joy and fun into our crazy. She’s also better than Valium. Seriously.
- Like- reading the same thing 15 times without a clue what it said, then wondering if that counts as progress in Goodreads.
- Looking for everything as if it’s the lost sheep, coin and son- only to find it right in front of you. Then, briefly considering slaughtering the fattened calf because you found your iphone in your hand.
- Forgetting what you’re doing as soon as you walk into a room. Yes. Even the bathroom.
- Moving piles like it’s a game you’re set on winning. Especially mail. (Paper is the devil. Just saying. And death involves some seriously important paper. Move the piles just don’t throw anything out until you’re responsible (ish) you’ll know this is happening when you start to remember what you’re doing when you enter a room.
- Making copious lists that you forget to use.
If you’ve experienced grief- what weird things has it made you do???
Or is it just me? Being weird. Even here. In grief?