I tend to be a little hyper-focused at times. (I also tend to totally lack focus at other times. It’s called balance. Or maybe, ADD.) Truth is, I’ve been in a long season of hyper-focus. Managing daily life, my home and family’s needs, and caregiving through an entire series worth of walking dead type medical stuff, has made it hard for me to see beyond my every day.
- I notice what needs to get done.
- I notice what hasn’t been done.
- I notice what I wish I could do.
- I notice what I wish others would do.
- I notice when I need to spend more time taking in words and things like beauty that fill my soul. Sometimes I even do what I need.
Once I hit the door, it’s all focus all the time. Scattered as it may be. (Some days my focus is a little like lights on a disco ball. Focused in a lot of directions at once.) I’m running a mental checklist, checking a physical check list, trying to make it to carpool, the pharmacy, appointments and figure out a meal plan all at the same time. I’m so busy in my head, I hardly notice what’s going on around me.
A nest that has been in my son’s school parking lot for 2 years. A nest I used to look to as a reminder of God’s presence, even here. In the carpool crazy. In the busyness of life. The hurry up and wait. The pain. The boredom. The loneliness. The feeling overwhelmed. In between appointments. In all of it.
I’d like to say I haven’t noticed it because my neck is fused and I can’t look up. But the truth is, I’ve learned to compensate for fusion by looking ahead.
Looking ahead let’s me see with a greater range than looking up.
I just haven’t been looking.
The other day, that nest that’s been there forever, again, caught my eye. Finally. Maybe it was the stark contrast of black branches and nest against a stainless steel colored winter sky. Or maybe, God decided it was time to remind me that he’s still here. In all of it, whether I’m looking for his presence or just assuming he’s there.
Are you hyper disco ball focused too? Are you struggling to survive and get everything done? Feeling overwhelmed, impatient, frustrated, exhausted, afraid, focused and scattered, disappointed?
Me too. All of the above, some days.
It’s time to take a look around. It’s time to Notice the beauty of this very moment. A sleeping child, a cuddle, a snow day, a warm pup on your lap. (Better yet, your feet. Just sayin. Warm pooches rock!) Maybe it’s the warmth of your home contrasted by the frost flowers growing on your windows. Maybe it’s the nest you’ve been walking by everyday, the one quietly trying to remind you of gods presence.
Yes, even here. Where ever you are.
This morning, I’m re-reading psalm 139. Join me? It reminds us that God is always with us and ready to guide us… Even here.
Dear lord, some days I’m so dense. Or maybe I’m distracted for very human reasons. Thank you for the reminder of your presence. Your faithfulness even when I don’t notice it. Thank you lord for being with me. Help me notice your goodness even here.