A Mile in Her Shoes

A Mile in Her Shoes: Picking Favorites (Not among my children.)

I love her style. Maybe, if I spend time with her, it will rub off.  A list. 

She’s beautiful, like model beautiful. If I hang with her, I’ll be the fat, plain friend. B list.

She’s too negative. I can’t have that in my life. She’s too happy-happy joy joy. She’s either nuts or, in denial. Or her life is really that great, and I just can’t deal with that. B list.

I love her go with the flow nature, I should spend more time with her. Or join her yoga, Pilates, painting, jujitsu class. A list.

She’s hysterical, I need more laughter. She’s on my A list for friend time.

She’s too needy. I can’t even. I’m ducking into the bathroom, maybe she won’t see me. B list.

She needs my help and input. She even asked for it! A list.

Her kids are annoying. I’m way past that phase. She’s a “girls night” kind of friend. B list. B for don’t BRING your kids.

She’s brilliant, I could learn so much from her. A list. For sure. Her kids are like a pbs show. Educational friendships. Double bonus. 

She talks too much. I can’t get a word in edgewise. She never talks, I have to carry every conversation. B list.

She spanks? B list. She doesn’t Spank? B list.

She wears Spanx? A list. She’s got something to smooth out. I like her. 

She’s too jesusy. She’s not jesusy enough. She reads the message. She’s a kjver. B list. 

She always tries to sell me stuff. Wide berth given. B list. Besides. Those oils smell, that weight loss stuff is gross and I swear it makes me gain weight it’s money I lose.  Those wraps only last till I have a sip of water and I have a moral objection to leggings. B-list. 

She’s got weird hair, ugly shoes, tattoos, drinks chai, is gluten free, sugar free, vegan, hates bacon, is paleo. We just can’t even. It won’t work. B list. B list. B list.

Or all of the above and: a list a list a list, cause I love weird people. On my. Terms, anyway. Normal people? I sometimes b list. I’m like that.

  I’ve been picking favorites as long as I can remember. A listing and B listing people in and out of my life as if they pass by on a conveyor belt like fruit to be sorted. I hate it. I keep quitting. It must be like cigarettes. Maybe you just have to keep quitting.

Every time I think I have a handle on it, I make a run to Walmart, Target, the mall, cvs, or after school pick up and I do it again.  (Hint: I hit at least one of those spots daily.) Even the Internet fuels my favoritism. From clean house pics, to happy shiny kids or political or religious posts that make me nauseous, or feeL affirmed, I pick favorites and unfavorites.

I long to be associated with some people, and not with others. 

Problem: my word of the year this year is love. Picking favorites isn’t love. B listing people isn’t love. 

I read this reminder this weekend. When I did, I noticed I’m not really one to pick favorite any income, But I certainly have my own criteria. 

Read the verses below. Especially the really ouchie last one: “mercy triumphs over judgment.”

Ouch. My favoritism is a form of judgment.

What if I started to view people through mercy, not judgment? What if I chose everyone as a favorite, the way Christ does? Is it even possible? What about personality conflicts? Jerks? Stinky people and rude people? 

See? I’m already looking for loopholes. Can you find any in here?


 I couldn’t either. I tried. I think the problem is deeper than my shallow judgements. I think I have a love problem. I don’t have enough love. I need a transfusion.

  Today, I’m asking God for more love. I think being more loving comes from knowing how loved I am. Let’s face it: I’m well aware of what a jerk I am. If I could really understand gods love for me, maybe I could stop playing favorites and love others the way he loves me.

Dear lord, help me with my favoritism, help me to truly understand the depth of your love for me and help me to love others the way you do. Help me to see each person as a reflection of you and treasure them. Because they are. I love you lord, and thank you for your grace- amen.

 Am I the only one picking favorites?

What kinds of things cause you to A-list or B- list someone? (If it’s poor typing, I mknow I’m on your b list. The typos were a test. Caught you!) 

How does mercy triumph over judgment ? On christ? And in your daily life?

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