101 reasons why I'm an idiot, A Mile in Her Shoes

The Perfection Paradox- In Which Women are Crazy and I’m the Queen of Crazyville.

We’ve all met her. Or, think we have. You know, the chick with everything.

The perfect chick.

Her hair that inspires stars to get makeovers. Her skin looks airbrushed by God. She has a nose that looks suspiciously fixed- but isn’t. It’s just: perfect. Her cheekbones could have been chiseled by Michelangelo. Her eyes inspire Pantone colors. She has make up that looks like Bobbi Brown lives in her bathroom- in a non-creepy way.  Her figure hits that tweet spot between strong and lean with a little extra in all the right places. The extra? Is perky. Not droopy or squishy. But also not silicone- bouncy. It’s all natural. Her personality  absolutely sparkles. She’s the antithesis of Debbie Downer without coming across as fake. She’s just that awesome.

Her clothes? Inspire Tim Gunn. . She walks in high heels as if they are slippers: effortlessly. Her children look like a Gap ad. They have never had baby acne, cradle cap or a tantrum in public. They don’t backtalk, were potty trained before before three and their ultrasounds show them reading the wall street journal. They either stay in the cart at Target playing games with each other-or dutifully help fill her shopping list like it’s the most fun scavenger hunt they’ve ever been on. Her education is Ivy league and she has no student loans. She has her dream job and it works with her family’s schedule seamlessly.

Her husband is GQ cover-ready. He shops for his own clothes,does his own laundry and takes care of the dry cleaning. He is supportive of her personal and career endeavors and does 51% of the housework. Indoors AND out. Money? She’s got it. She never uses couch change for milk or, diapers. Her house? Never dirty. Laundry? Always clean folded and PUT AWAY.

The perfect chick. *Sigh.*

I envy her. I want to be her. (Just once. I love my yoga pants too much to be her everyday. I’m sure she only wears hers to actual yoga classes. I tried yoga. It wasn’t pretty. My tree pose looked more tree frog-clinging to a branch for it’s life than elegantly balanced tree. Just saying.)

I also: kind of hate her.  Don’t we all?

Which is crazy. Let’s do the math:

We all want to be the perfect chick. + We all hate her. = We all want to be perfectly hated. Hello, train to Crazyville leaving now- all aboard!

I’m sure it me. (It can’t be her- she’s perfect. The J-lo version of Mary Poppins.) I suffer with jealousy with a touch of entitlement. (suffer with sounds like i’m a victim- not a jerk. That latter might be more true.) But, come on…it’s just not fair that some people have it all, is it?

Or, do they?

Honestly? I have no idea. Why? Because I don’t bother trying to get to know her. I pretty much just quietly envy, hate and avoid her.

What if she’s not as perfect as she seems? What if she’s just as jacked up and broken and messy as I am –  in different ways?

What if I could learn from her? What if she could learn from me? What if we need each other?

What if I’m “That” chick to someone else?

What if we all are?

I vote we change the math.

No more Perfection Paradox.

No more hating the perfect chick. No more longing to be her. That ride to Crazyville always ends in tragedy.

The tragedy of relationships missed and damaged. Maybe relationships we desperately need.

Let’s be ourselves, bravely. Let’s learn to love each other just as we are-the  perfect (or, seemingly so) and the imperfect.  We could change the world.

Dear Lord- Help me with these of feelings towards perfect chicks. I know it’s crazy. I know they are my own insecurities turned on others like a viper. I also know in my brain that no one  is ever as perfect as they may appear. Help me to accept who I am without comparing myself to others. Help me to accept others imperfect or perfect- as they are. Help me to love myself and others as you do. In Jesus name- amen.

So am I the only one struggling with living in the Perfection Paradox?  Or do I ride the train alone? Are you someone who’s been the perfect chick (even if it’s just been for one magical day..) and felt alone and cut off from others? Let’s talk.

In what ways do others think you have it all together?

In what ways do you envy others? Appearance? Education? Career? Relationships? Kids accomplishments?








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2 thoughts on “The Perfection Paradox- In Which Women are Crazy and I’m the Queen of Crazyville.

  1. PERFECT! Loved this! With ‘solomon’ in your name how could you be anything but wonderfully wise! 🙂

  2. How I pray that this truth would really sink in! It is a constant struggle because I focus on ‘her’ instead of Him!

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