I’m currently in a recliner, covered in a soft -as -mink, pink fleece blanket. There is a cup of Starbucks in reach. The cold November wind is whistling past the window. My husband is napping nearby.
A perfect fall afternoon. Except for: the hourly vitals checks, the 3x a day blood sugar pokes, the Iv antibiotics and pain meds. The surgical teams early morning visits, the blood cultures growing in a lab in the basement and the incessant beeping of alarms and machines.
Well… Except for all that and the monster in the room with us.
Wait, you thought prostate cancer was one of those “you’ll die with it, but not of it” aka: “good kinds” of cancer?
So did we. Even after my husbands diagnosis in 2011 -we thought it would be a bump in the road.
And after surgery.
And hormone therapy.
It’s not a bump in the road. It’s a total life reroute that now involves chemo and all the bonus’ with purchase that affords. Like thrush, life threatening infections and yeah…hair loss. Which turns out to be harder than we thought, too.
The truth is: this hasn’t been what we expected. It’s a monster. A monster we’re determined to kill. But, right now? It’s a monster that’s got me torn between being here for my husband and being home for my kids. Wondering what the hospital copays will be, and how on earth we’ll manage carpool and chemo.
A monster that’s caused white counts to fail and infections to take hold of his body and our lives.
A monster that makes me cry in the bathroom and wonder how I’ll make it through the next hour, let alone the next month.
A monster that has me holding my breath and holding his hand as my favorite person suffers pain and indignities with courage and humor.
All while we have no guarantees that it will get better.
We’re blessed to have great kids and friends helping with everything from childcare to meals. Visits and necessities brought to ease our current crisis.
We’re blessed to know that God is with us even here- in our perpetual movember.
Not a typo. I know your calendar says November, but trust me. It’s always #movember to us.
What is #movember and, why do I care?
#movember is to men’s health what the pink ribbon embroidered blanket I’m curled in right now is to breast cancer,.
#movember is men all over the world, growing out their ‘stasches to raise funds and show support for people like us.
#movember is #mosisters encouraging the men in their lives to be checked, and who sit in recliners in hospitals all over fearing the same things I fear, doing the next thing they never thought they’d have to do- in the name of love.
Because cancer sux. Because men matter. Because there is no “good kind” of cancer. Because the reality is that men (yes,young men like my 48 year old husband) die everyday due to prostate cancer.
I know. Because I’m here. Right now. Hoping and praying he’ll live.
#movember isn’t just moustaches. It’s a movement to kill the monster.
Donate. Get checked or make the men in your life get checked. Come along side those in the fight of their lives.
Grow a moustache. Order a t shirt from sevenly.com or rock your movember Toms. Www.toms.com do something.
Talk about the unspeakable. We’re finally
comfortable with saving the boobies and tatas’ it’s time to save the prostates and testes, too. (Not the same as prostrate. Just sayin. Google it. Learn what it is and does. ) it’s time to kill the monster.
And do me a favor- pray for us.
Sorry for the lack of proper links. But writing from the fifth floor between med doses has me a little less than at my best. Which is exactly why you need to know:
We are #movember.