Scarily Brave. In Which I do What Doesn’t Make Sense- Because It’s the Right Thing to Do

“For such a time as this.” The words were spoken to Esther centuries ago…… and they’ve been moving me forward through fear and insecurity for years.

Nudging me. Step by step.

Somedays the words are whispered in response to my prayers- others-they are loudly proclaimed while I put my hands over my ears, close my eyes and pretend not to hear. (Why yes- I am a giant spiritual toddler. Of course. Thanks for noticing.) I’ve even had them handed to me at moments when I felt they were the least true.

IMG_6740

My typical response?

“Me? Called? To this? Now? God.. You’ve lost your mind. This makes no sense at all. Especially not now. And- let’s face it. I’m no Esther. Somedays I’m not even sure I’m a Tracey. By the way- did you forget about the crazy that is my life? Your clock is off. Now is not a good time.”

Yet, here I am.

Doing the next thing. Even though it makes no sense.

Why? Because I can’t ignore the nudge any longer.  Because: there are too many arrows pointing me in this direction-now- regardless of how sensible or non-sensical it is.

So yesterday- I pushed my polished book proposal out of the nest of my laptop and to the inbox of a potential agent. Today, I’m watching to see if she takes flight.  (The proposal, not the agent, Mary Poppin’s is all booked up. I had to find someone better.)

This is that moment in between when you hold your breath and wait. The moment between flight and falling.

This is the  moment where faith is as tangible as fear.

This is the moment where bravery is born.

When you take the next step- not knowing where it will lead. Even though you’re scared.

One of my heroes said it this way:

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”  Nelson Mandela

Here’s to conquering fear.

Even here.

What are you doing scared today?

  • Letting your child go around the block for the first time?
  • Drive?
  • Applying for that dream job?
  • Sitting through a treatment that could harm or heal?
  • Creating?
  • Trying a new recipe? (Hello- I feed 5- that takes bravery.)

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *