Enough.

teeter-totter-google-images-300x152-1If my opinion of myself were a teeter totter it would teeter and totter between thinking I’m too much and not enough.

I’m too loud.

I’m too talkative.

I’m too emotional.

I’m too open.

I’m too hyper.

I’m too messed up.

I’m too heavy.

I’m too disorganized….

The “Too” list weighs me down and just when I flex my knees to push up against those- the “Not enough”  list starts it’s pull me in the opposite direction:

I’m not good enough.

I’m not educated enough.

I’m not pretty enough.

I’m not eloquent enough.

I’m not intuitive enough.

I’m not compassionate enough.

I’m not considerate enough.

I’m not really a fan of teeter totters. I was  that really skinny kid on the playground who’d always get stranded in midair and have to say humiliating things to be let down.

Even worse? I was the one left on the ground with the wind knocked out of me because my “teeter totter partner” jumped off at just the right moment to send me straight to the ground like a watermelon dropped from a roof. (This is in the olden days when teeter totters were allowed and playgrounds were not padded. For the record- old school-packed playground sand, is not a soft place to land.)

There’s nothing quite like trying to tattle to your teacher when you can’t breathe.

So yeah- I have serious teeter-totter issues.

Lately, I’ve been wondering what would happen if I jumped off the teeter totter?

What if I stopped believing I’m too much- and not enough?

What If, I’m enough?

Just as I am. Loud, talkative, hyper, all of it- what if I’m exactly what God needs me to be- today? What if I stopped worrying about it and just started being it?

I hope you’re not sitting on the other end of my teeter totter- cause if you are- you’re about to hit the ground. Cause this girls is done with the teeter totter.

I am enough- because HE IS.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

I am enough- because he created me….

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

And so are you.

Dear lord- I pray that we’d each find courage and hope in the knowledge that we are enough. Not too much, nor too little- we’re exactly what you’ve created us to be- and it’s enough- because of you. I love you lord- and thank you. Amen.

PS- Lord? Teeter totters are evil contraptions. You should do something about those devices of childhood torture and temptation… justsayin. 

Do you struggle with feeling like you’re “too much” or not enough?

In what ways?

Do you have teeter totter issues? (Or just a great teeter totter story?)

Let’s talk about it in the comments!

 

One thought on “Enough.”

  1. Amen, sister! Motherhood-Womanhood-Wifehood and our little inner voice about all three of these things really is an exercise in teeter-tottering up/down/sideways. I want to sing to myself, to you, and to all the other self-judging women out there, “Let it Go! Let it Goooooooooooo!”

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