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Boys Don’t Make Passes at Girls…

Who wear glasses.

I remember my eye doctor saying just those words to my dad, while we sat in his dark office. (Creepy now that I think about it- but I digress.) No worries- the same day-  I threw up all over his expensive PUFF machine. (Hate that glaucoma test.) It was probably in retribution-  I’m like that.

Anyway-this was in the late 70’s. We’ll cut the dude some “he didn’t know better” slack. . Granted- this was the epic season of foster grants- and plastic frames with tinted lenses that make coke bottles look anorexic. (There were no- ultra thin lenses… remember? I am old.) Not a good look. Also? Way before vanity frames became popular. Looking “smart” was a euphemism for ugly. The words stung.

Granted- this was the epic season of foster grants- and plastic frames with tinted lenses that would make coke bottle bottoms look anorexic. Still. I hated it.

As well as the calls and whispered slams of “four eyes” and “dork” and all the other things kids say.

I went for years hiding my glasses and walking into things. (equally- dorky- but still.)

Eventually- sight trumped vanity. (And glasses got cool… I was hip- before hip meant anything but – your butt.)

I now have a choice— do I choose to look back and be bitter about the words?  Or, do I choose to live forward and be sensitive and encouraging to others?

I could look them all up on Facebook and rant about bullying… or sit smugly when I notice their receding hairlines and and bad bifocals- chanting “four eyes” at the screen. (Maybe I did…. just once or twice… ok?)

Instead , I’ve decided  choose to loo back and live forward.  I want to Love forward. So I do.

I have a personal goal- to compliment and connect with every child I see wearing glasses…….and give them what I would have wanted….

To be told I looked fabulous in my specs. To be complimented on the thing others ridiculed. Genuinely.

Like the little girl in purple sparkly frames at Target- Who’s face lit up when I told her I’d have LOVED to have a pair of those when I was a kid……

The one in pink frames at the mall. The girl I told said looked like a movie star- because she did.

The one in sparkly black ones at the books store. Who I told had the best smile to go with her glasses that I’ve ever seen…. (it was contagious. Just thinking about her makes me smile.)

Every single one. Every single time.

I can’t rewind the clock and school that eye-doctor- or change all the name calling I received… (And gave– Let’s just say- I did my share. I was a rather karmic kid….. what comes around- goes around… like a virus- sadly.)

But- I can change how it affects me.

I don’t have to over compensate by looking perfect. (I still struggle with trying to- but I know the truth- I don’t have to.)

I don’t have to retaliate by being snarky. (Although- if snark were a spiritual gift- I’d be the guru.)

I can live forward.

I can love forward.

I can forgive.

I can be forgiven.

I can reach out to the ones who don’t fit in. I can call out the beauty in those who feel ugly.

I can make a difference.

And so can you.

 34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

What words from your past haunt you? How can you use them to live forward with love?

PS- for the record? The doctor was wrong. Boys (and men- ask my kids- they think it’s gross) DO make passes at girls who wear glasses…..#justsayin

Dear Lord- I pray that you’d redeem my past- every bit- the big things and the small ones. Please use it to help me love others better. please make my heart soft- not hardened my experiences. Help me to see ways to love- because you love me…. I love you lord- amen- ps- thnx for letting glasses come into style…and for inspiring better frame options.. I totally believe that’s you- amen. again!

1 thought on “Boys Don’t Make Passes at Girls…

  1. Great post. I went through a similar process when I received Facebook friend requests from women who were my bullies in Jr. High. I accepted. Amen to everything you said.

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