Blind spot.

“HOOOOONK!!!!!” (Hmmm do you “quote” a car? Not sure. But, since I’m pretty sure it was screaming at me- so I’m going with: yes.)

I grabbed the steering wheel and yanked to the left. Fortunately, not too left.

That, was close. Too close.

I didn’t see the car.

I did, however, look before attempting a lane change. I looked in my rearview mirror. I looked in my passenger side mirror.

They must have been in my blind spot.

Which, I would also normally: check.

Except today. Not because I’m lazy or irresponsible… (although I often, am)  it’s because I can’t.

I can’t physically.

Turn.

My.

Head.

I went for a follow up with my neurosurgeon and, I’m back in the neck brace. AKA: cone of shame. With all the crazy that has been my life since my cervical fusion- It hasn’t  fused as expected. So, back into the brace for a month I go. And the doctor ordered a nifty “bone growth stimulator”  for me… which, i’m guessing will be 100% less awesome to wear than an apple device. But, since there is no “fix my spine” app- I’ll go with it….

It’s not that big of a deal.

The brace- cone of shame...

It’s inconvenient. Uncomfortable… . but it’s ok.

Mostly.

Except when I drive. Then: not so much.

Fortunately- most of the time- I have a solution.

I check my rearview mirror. I check the passenger side mirror. I turn as far as I can… and then…

“Hey- can you check my blind spot?” I ask whom ever may be in the car with me.

Here’s the thing… every time I ask- I simply wait for the response then change lanes or turn, with out so much as a car honking or fender bending. I don’t question the passenger (I don’t ask the youngest.. at 9 I question his judgment..) .. I just turn the wheel.

The truth is- I should always have a responsible passenger. Someone to check my other blind spots…

  • Like my propensity to yell at the people I love most…and not see it’s effect.
  • Like my tendency to spend more than I need to- to “de-stress” and never even notice how much a few bookstore trips can add up to.
  • Like my tendency to say “No” to my kids because its convenient.
  • Like my tendency to waste time on Facebook instead of writing or prepping for upcoming talks…
  • Like my tendency to eat for comfort…..without seeing how it adds up on my hips…
  • Like my feeling confined by my current persecutive… When an exhortation to”Think positive” seems impossible, because I’m locked into seeing things from a certain perspective…. (MINE.)  Like pain.  Chronic pain. Cancer. Fear. Surgery and Laundry. (Ok… so maybe not laundry- but you get the picture..)

Those blind spots.

The blind spots that few “honk” at… even when I clearly cross the line.

I know how to get help with my blind spots… I have people who are ready to point them out for me (and sometimes run) when I’m nearing the yellow line…. At least- they are when I let them in the passenger seat….Like my girlfriends. My husband. My kids. My God.

I need to do that more often.

How bout you?

Are you struggling with blind spots? Feeling a little confined by your current perspective? Find it hard to trust the “it’s all clear” of the voice in the passenger seat and go ahead and turn the wheel?

Yeah….. me too… let’s pray.

Dear Lord- ultimately- as lame and cheesy as it sounds- YOU are the one who sees all my blind spots and helps to steer the wheel…help me to listen- help me to ask for input as easily about the big things as I do about lane changes….I love you Lord- and thank you for your presense- even here. In the brace. And this time….. and this lane- amen. PS- thnx Lord- for a college boy who’s patient with his mother’s driving… amen:) 

 

 9 Two are better than one, 
   because they have a good return for their labor: 
10 If either of them falls down, 
   one can help the other up. 
But pity anyone who falls 
   and has no one to help them up. 
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. 
   But how can one keep warm alone? 
12 Though one may be overpowered, 
   two can defend themselves. 
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.          ecclesiastes 4:9-12

3 thoughts on “Blind spot.

  1. Athena says:

    I <3 you. Even when you make me cry.

  2. You know how when you get older and you open your mouth and your mom comes out? Well, as I’m getting older, and can’t get my words together, I just leave it to you to get my words out. These are my feelings. Including, no, ESPECIALLY, the laundry. Thank you again for being real.

  3. bethkvogt says:

    Keep writing.
    Keep writing.
    Get off FB and keep writing.
    Because you write truth.

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