I’m a mommy-bigot. I hate it, but, it’s true.
For the most part my bigotry is centered on mommy’s choices, preferences and lifestyles. I am prejudiced. A bigot of Mommy-sorts. (I pre-judge others.)
It’s like I have a Google indexing program running in my brain. For the most part my Google-fu is amazing… but it’s way off, when it comes to moms.
It works like this: I see a mom, sum her up in a searchable word (SAHM, Working, Home Schooler, Tatted.. etc) and my brain pops up a list of “top results” (prejudices/assumptions/related searches) And “related” searches….
Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes, not so much. They look a little like this:
Goth-mom- Top Results: Possibly a Mompire, prefers black fingernail polish, reads Edgar Allen Poe to children at bedtime.
Related searches: Bat baby mobiles, faux fang pacifiers. Current reading: Potty Training after Dark….
Christian Mom- Top Results: Judgmental, Bible beating, better-than-thou, might be in a cult. Current reading: “How to save the world because it’s going to hell if you don’t”
Related Searches: see home school and private school, “How to win souls and influence no-one” How to love the people you don’t like, cause God said too.
Atheist Mom- Top Results: Loves the devil. (or science same thing) Hates “believers”, Ready to rumble. Current Reading: “How to hate a God you don’t believe in”
Related Searches: I’m just smarter than that, how to avoid christians, how to mess with the weak-minded and take over the world.
Home School Mom- Top Results: Latent Little House On the Prairie Desires, I wish I lived before makeup, How did ma not kill those kids? can a garden shed be used as a one room schoolhouse, legally?
Related searches: How to rock a pinafore, How to get your DIY log cabin building plan to pass your neighborhood association bylaws, how to braid your hair for dummies, how to make soap from bacon grease, teaching math with kitchen utensils.
Ok.. so maybe my brain’s Google-search data base is messed up. Or maybe It’s not really as bad as what I posted here… maybe its worse.
The thing is– I do it. A lot. I need to quit.
Why? Because the more moms I get to know- really know... the more faulty I find my inner google-fu is. I am usually – WRONG.
I’ve never met a Goth mom who drinks blood. (I did however find vampire fang pacifiers.. I thought I made it up:P) I’ve never met a Christian Mom who… well… ok maybe I’ve met some of those…..(maybe I’ve been one. ouch. ) I’ve never met an Atheist Mom on a mission to take over the world, or a home school mom who really wanted to time travel to Walnut Grove… (not unless she could take the internets to Walnut Grove with her..)
Slowly.. one at a time.. God is opening my eyes to the truth about moms around me. Sometimes by personal experience (I’ve been experimenting in motherhood, both personally and for this project) and sometimes by relationship.
This is what I’m learning:
- I can’t count on a Google to tell me what she’s really like.
- She’s way more amazing than I thought.
- We have much in common even when we seem like polar opposites.
- It’s worth it to find out the truth.
I’m excited about the journey I’m on… I want to have my mommy-bigotry wiped out of the hard-drive of my heart. (how cheesy is that statement? I know- But, I still mean it.) I want to look at moms and see them as amazing and unique and get to know them for who they are as individuals, not stereo-types created in some faulty search index of my brain.
“Dear Lord— I pray that you’d continue to help me get to know and love moms (women) for who they really are. Help me find the humor in my assumptions and let go of my prejudices. I ask you to forgive my bigotry. I love you lord- and ask you to help me – amen. “
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.