I had it all planned out. There would be: fresh baked bread and dinner in the freezer ready for when we brought the new baby home. I dreamed of coffee with friends in the mornings and cuddling and reading with my baby in the afternoon. I envisioned smiling-clean children welcoming their Dad home in the evening. In my Stay at Home Mommy-hood dream, I am always dressed in mommy-professional attire and feeling completely fulfilled in my role as Mommy and Wife. I sing like Snow White while I vacuum.
That picture of mommy-hood perfection lasted the first 13 days of my first pregnancy. At which point Mommy-hood went High Definition. I was put on bed-rest. My planning and preparations came to a screeching halt.
Suddenly, every bumpy, lumpy, hard and wonderful pixel of motherhood came into sharp focus. My longing to protect my little one… the pain of facing loss, the excitement re-building at each Dr’s appointment when I found out I was still “expecting.” It was hope, fear, trust, pain, joy all rolled into one. It was motherhood condensed, and I hadn’t even had a baby yet.
My preparing for baby dreams of ready made meals and hand stitched baby clothes instantly changed to spending my days crying through Oprah, as I watched the laundry and dishes pile up around me.
I’ve been trying to “catch up” with my housework, ever since.
Don’t get me wrong…there have been moments that look a lot like the picture I had in mind. Stories shared, children clean and smiling,(especially when they are both clean and asleep.. those are moments of dream become real.) There has been bread baked (the crust of which no child would eat.) meals served (even if it’s mac and cheese) and Daddy welcomed.
But there have been lots of things that were not part of my SAHM dream.. Like struggling to pay bills on one income, split lips and screaming kids, sibling fights and late nights. My “mommy professional attire” is most often comfy sweats with something spilled on them. The busy-ness has been shocking.
as I’m working on the “Mile in her shoes” project and thinking about being a SAHM….I have a few questions for you: (whether you’re currently a SAHM or were previously every mom’s voice matters!)
- What surprised you most about being a SAHM?
- The busy-ness? The tediousness? The loneliness? The overwhelming responsibility? The messiness? The response of others when they learn you’re a SAHM? The joy?
- What do you find most difficult?
- Most enjoyable?
- How Has High Def Mothering been different from your mommy-dream?
I can’t wait to hear! Please Comment, Twitter or email me your answers!