Re-post from Dec 08
The roads were slushy and slippery. My mind was more on them, than on listening to the radio. (Funny, how concerned about the road I can be, when I’m NOT the one driving…) Between Christmas music and ads for mega-vitamins, I vaguely recall hearing the ad for the RBC “Our Daily Bread Calendar”. The ad said that the inspirational calendar can help you see God, everyday. Not a bad deal, for a “donation of any amount”.
What I recall much more clearly, was the conversation that followed.
Noah: “Mommy? I’ve never seen God.”
It was part statement and part question. I could tell he was concerned that he’d been missing out on something others might be experiencing. That everyone else could see God- but he couldn’t.
Mommy: “Neither have I, honey. Not with my eyes.”
I stopped short of telling him all the ways I’d seen evidence of God’s presense in my life. I learned the hard way not to give TMI. (Sometimes, when a child asks “Where do babies come from?”.. They really just mean does the “baby aisle” at Walmart, actually sell babies.)
I waited for the follow up question… I waited to see if he was questioning God’s existence based on his ability to see, hear, or otherwise sense Him. I was ready to answer with a verse and the sunday school teacher’s standard answer. The questions, didn’t come.
Noah: “Maybe we should buy that calendar, then we would!”
Mommy (giggling under her breath): “Maybe we should, Noah, Maybe we should.”
To be honest, somedays, I wish that faith could be that easy. Part of me wishes, I could open a calendar page and see God, at least on the days when he seems so far away. On those days a flip calendar where he could be found would be nice… wouldn’t it?
Maybe not. Do I really wish I served a God who fit on the page of a calendar? Probably not. I’d rather have the adventure of experiencing God’s power in the crushing roll of waves, and his light in the brilliant diamonds I see in the dark, night sky. I’d rather search for him and find him in the people he’s painstakenly created, and the world he formed for them to live in. I’d rather stumble into a real, living example of his character, than a flat, one dimensional photo.
Mostly. But then- once in a while….it would be kind of nice to flip a page and find a him there. Smiling at me. Listening to me. As visible as he is powerful and real.
Maybe we should order that calendar, afterall…..
Lord- the simplicity and complexity of the children you’ve given me to care for- amazes me. Thank you for the honor of being a mother. Thank you for being in my life,in both visible and invisible ways. God for the days when you seem far away- help me to remember both how close you are- and how much better it is to love a God who doesn’t fit on a calendar page. I love you Lord- – amen!