It’s time to end the Other Cold War- the one between Mom’s

“Mr Gorbachev, Tear down this wall.

I was 21. When Ronald Reagan made that demand. It resonated through my being. I was really not much more than a kid, without political understanding, but even I could see how wrong that wall was.  I saw that wall as an ugly reminder of how differences of perspective (a simplification, I know)  can be used to separate and even kill.

What divided Germany?

Ideation? Perspective? Politics? Fear? Hatred? Control? Judgment?

Maybe, it was all of the above.

Today- we celebrate the action of a nation tearing down a wall and  being pieced back together. The tearing down of that wall was a symbol of unity over difference. it was the beginning of the end of the Cold War.

It was powerful. It still is.

Sadly?  It wasn’t the last wall built to divide. Nor was Communism the last Cold War. There are walls between Moms- and a Cold War being waged between us.

You don’t see them?  Look again. We are at war over our parenting methods,style, choice s and preferences. From diapering to schooling choice, we build walls around our opinions, judgments, perspectives, ideas, politics, cultures, and assumptions. They are invisible, but are just as real as Berlin’s concrete wall.

Like Berlin- we each stand on “our side,” armed with snipers rifles to keep the same in and the different- out.  We shoot words, looks, justifications and judgments like officers of mom-dom guarding our borders.

I’ve built my share of walls.  I’m learning to tear them down.

Why?

Because I’m learning my walls are (for the most part) built of Myth. Things I believe about others  based on tiny pieces of truth I know about them. I create whole myths that explain motive and actions without bothering to KNOW the person. It’s ugly. It’s wrong. and, it’s true.  I call them Mommy Myths- and it’s time for them to be busted.

I only know one way to bust Myths- (mommy or otherwise) and that is with truth. How do I learn the truth about moms who are different from me? BY GETTING TO KNOW THEM. It is messy and uncomfortable. and worth it.

I need other moms. Desperately. I need different opinions and perspectives. I need confrontation (I don’t WANT it, but I need it:P) and confirmation. I need connection and understanding. I need to listen and learn and be heard.

Maybe you do too.

I wonder what would happen if Mothers around the world tore down their walls?  I wonder what would happen if we learned to listen instead of assume.  I wonder what would happen if we could learn to appreciate our differences instead of judging and defending?  We may nit agree on everything- but maybe we could respect and understand. Maybe then, we could put away the verbal rifles and end the Mommy Cold War that is between us.

the world and our families- could be a better place.

Can you hear it?

There is a voice- standing not on one side or another- but above all of our walls and I hear it saying…

“Ms Mommy-chev, TEAR DOWN THAT WALL.”

It’s time to Bust some Mommy Myths- so we can pull out the bricks and mortars that build our walls– will you join me?

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