I’m working on a Mommy Manifesto: a list of clearly defined goals, values and determinations that I hold for Mothering. Why a Manifesto? Because mothering is not a job or a to do list. Mothering is a revolution and a movement. How we mother, affects the culture and the world for generations. A manifesto sets the direction for a movement. This is the direction I want to travel in:
I will parent my children without criticizing the parenting choices of others…
I will parent each of my children uniquely, respecting the design that God has for them and their life.
I will trust that “being there” matters in my child’s life… even when they give me the “get out of my face” look.
I will remember my children are not my report card, score card or trophy, but a gift to be cherished, appreciated and nurtured.
I will respect the unique design and plan that God has for other mothers and learn to appreciate the differences between us.
I will learn to balance holding on and letting go. Using each one where it fits.
I will let my children learn from their mistakes. I will not rescue them from every consequence.
I will do my best not to gag when someone suggests my kid is going through a “phase” It’s probably true. We’ll survive.
I will trust that consistency produces results.. I will not continuously amp up my discipline to force changes. (Even though I will be tempted to)
I will value and listen to the input of others about my mothering, I will in turn, offer my input when asked to.
I will listen and respect input from other mothers of all ages- I can learn from each one, older and younger.
I will learn to balance caring for myself and caring for my children, it will save our sanity.
I will encourage my kids to allow other safe adults to speak into their lives, even if it makes me feel threatened.
I will remember how fast time slips by and value each day- regardless of what it holds.It will all become our history.
I will dance with my children at the grocery store… moments cannot be sacrificed to appearances.
I will live an authentic faith before my children, allowing them to see struggles and doubts as well as peace and beauty.
I will maintain supportive adult relationships, allowing my children to see my interdependance, so they will develop theirs.
I will manage my relationship with my spouse/ my children’s father, in a way that models healthy relationships to my children.
I will pick and choose my battles. I will not fight to the death over things not worth my (or my children’s) lives.
I will work to create an atmosphere in our home that balances spontanaety and structure.
I will spend time each day doing something that lasts, whether art, writing, reading etc.. to help me not feel overwhelmed by the tidal wave of continuous work and mothering. Something that lasts longer than a toilet scrubbing.
More to come… considering a magazine article or series based on The Mommy Manifesto.. if you had a Mommy Manifesto, what would be in it????