My week thus far:
Monday- child falls off of bed while goofing around and recieves a black (ish) eye.
Tuesday: Youngest and oldest child (also a GIANT) collide in a Wii bowling incident resulting in a bloodied and fattened lip on youngest child.
Wednesday- started off with ice and a planned hospital visit… ended with an UNPLANNED trip to the ER at 1o:30 pm to have a toy removed from the youngest childs FINGER. (see: exhibit a)
Thursday: I DECLARE EITHER A SHORTENED WEEK OR MOMTIAL LAW. Due to the fact that I cannot shorten or lengthen time (see Christmas preparedness posts previous)
I Hereby declare MOMTIAL LAW.
For the protection of the universe.
I HAVE DECLARED A DRAMA/INJURY/SURGERY/CRISIS FREE ZONE.
PLEASE INFORM ALL FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO GET WITH THE PROGRAM IMMEDIATELY.
Violators (herein defined as those in or causing injury, drama, surgical intervention and or other psycho-social crisis’) will be knit (or otherwise secured by crafty means) into bubblewrap protective devices without regard for age, gender or political perspective. They will be held in protective custody until the US government (heretofor known as MOM) deems them no longer a threat to themselves and or national security.
I hereby declare MOMTIAL LAW.
A curfew which includes staying home watching lame movies and knitting (or other recreative activities within reason and safety) with dull pointed circular needles and yummiest yarn you can find (or the chocolate and caffeine combination of your choice) is in effect until further notice between the hours of 12am and 11:59 pm.
I hereby deputize all Mom’s as martials of MOMTIAL law, use your powers of enforcement responsibly- or the mighty spatula of doom will be weilded.
THAT IS ALL.