It happens in two places- the dinner table and in the backseat of the car. What, you ask? a spot on observation by a child that totally changes my perspective and attitude. This time, it was at the dinner table, which can be a denagerous place when you have three boys. It involves the passing of ancient wisdom, the shooting of peas from ones nose and the total depravity of man.
We were munching away on pasta marinara served with a side of steamed peas. The boys were being silly, and Hubby was out of town. (Yes, ALL 3 of them…silly at the same time… this is truly, as dangerous as it sounds.) The college boy and the high schooler decided that it was time to pass along manly wisdom of the ages to their youngest sibling. The wisdom to be passed on? The life saving skill of shooting peas out of your nose. As the only sane person- I mean…female present and the Mom, I strongly protested this passing of wisdom. I was outnumbered. Truth be told, they were faster than a pack of wolves devouring a sack of “sliders”.
It went something like this:
College boy: “Hey, High schooler (name withheld to protect the guilty) – remember when you got that corn kernal stuck in your nose, and had to go to the hospital?”
High Schooler- “Yeah you made me try to shoot it out of my nose!”
College boy: “Show Noah!”
Highschooler: Shoots a pea from his NOSE- across the table at the College boy.
Noah: suffers convulsive laughter, then reaches for his peas.
Mom: “College boy- if that pea gets stuck up his nose- would you care to explain this all to the hospital?”
College Boy: “Won’t need too-if we teach him right.”
Mom: “Don’t do it.”
High schooler: shoots another pea in his typical silent rebellion manner.
Noah: Shoots a pea from his nose. (achieves nice distance- i have to admit)
Mom: “Noah! Did you not hear that High schooler got something stuck up his nose and had to go to the hospital? Did you not hear me say “Don’t”? Why did you shoot that pea? DO you WANT to get in trouble?”
Noah: “I cant help it mom, it’s part of my nature.”
Mom- Falls into convulsive laughter as she realizes her 6 year old just demonstrated an understanding of the total depravity of man. And-looking into his eyes- realizes he is probably telling the truth. He could not help it. It’s in his nature.
Maybe, I could be a Calvinist after all.. or not.