It doesn’t take a huge drop- for my stomach to flip flop, just the IDEA of one, does that for me. It’s true. I admit it. I am afraid of rollercoasters. I have always joked… “Why would I pay money to ride something to make me throw up? I could just eat bad chicken, if I want to do that…”
I am the woman you’ve seen before- clutching the person next to me (whether I know them or not) and bracing myself with my legs. Sure- I’m screaming— but not with laughter like those around me… I’m screaming in terror. Not my idea of fun. I am the white-knuckle queen. Even on the kiddie rides, crazy- but true. My kids think its’ hilarious.
I wish I wasn’t the white-knuckle queen. I wish I could throw my hands up and laugh…enjoying the ride and thrilled by the adventure. Instead of being hunkered down and leaving the ride sore- in body and soul. Sure- I am relieved (that I’m still alive) and usually laugh when it’s over. But still. SCARED.
Why? Why do my kids love these rides while I cower and whine? I’m not sure. Maybe I’ve watched too many news stories… maybe, it’s because I like CONTROL. (a lot) Maybe it’s just an irrational (although arguably -so) fear. Maybe I’m just a big fraidy cat. But, No- I don’t really think so. I’m not really afraid of everything…maybe… just needles, and rollercoasters and maybe the dentist, a little. But not *everything*.
Most things- I see as an adventure. Complete with bumps and thrills… I love travel to new places and meeting new people. I love trying and learning new things. I love being stretched and grown, socially, culturally, emotionally, cognitively. Adventures- all of them. But, not rollercoasters? NO WAY. I see the looming metal or wooden structures and my hands start to sweat, I feel them clench into fists and my jaw tightens.
Every once in a while.. I run into a similar situalion in my journey with God.. something looming on the horizon, that I know will have near misses and places where it will feel like the bottom will fall out from under me… rollercoasters of faith. I used to tense up at the thought of them. Hands sweaty… jaw-clenched. But over the years— I’ve ridden the rollercoaster of faith- enough to trust and wait for the ride to “come to a full and complete stop, keeping hands and feet inside the ride” and eventually… it does.
I’ve had bumpy rides. I’ve faced struggles and pain… but I’ve never been thrown from the ride. Sometimes.. I even enjoy it. Over the years… on lots of rides of faith both HUGE and kiddies…I’ve learned to trust the ride attendant. Sometimes, I even enjoy it!
Maybe— I just need to ride MORE rollercoasters….
(PS- of course I love this theme… I’ve been blogging it for years:)