Body by baked goods…..

Caution visitors- this is a “girlfriend post” be forewarned.Boink. Boink. Boink.
I feel a thumping on my hindquarters. Not something that happens every day.

“Mommy, your butt is boinky” Came a little voice from the rear.

He continues to bounce his head off my back side like a vertical, portable trampoline as I attempt to make dinner.

As I cook spaghetti, I wonder what happened to my body.

I used to be a runner. Like, a  6 + miles a day kind of runner. Not so much any more. The knees can’t take it.. and let’s face it I barely find time to shower.  An extra hour to run just isn’t in the schedule.

I used to consciously build my body with protein drinks and healthy foods-I watched the scale to make sure I didn’t dip BELOW a safe weight. I was all “Body by Jake” and Aerobics in the living-room.– Now my body could be better described as “Body By Baked Goods” Cookies- cake… bread… yum. Not so much with the ice cream or cheese cake. But give me chocolate or face my wrath!

It’s not just the “muffin tops” that are an issue. Although- they have their place as well. It’s the “Bundt Cake butt” and even worse- after nursing three sons— it’s the “Baguette b**bs” that bother me most. Let’s just say- I heard a song about it….”the girls hang low…and they wobble to and fro- you could tie them in a knot, you could tie them in a bow- you could throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier… yes the girls hang low…..”

My youngest- who has an uncanny sense of reality- once interrupted my “lean forward, let’em swing, then haul them into the bra-garage” method of bra fitting that I learned at Victoria Secret-(just a note- when your body’s built by baked goods- VS becomes a resource for breast care as opposed to recreational usage instruction or inspiration…well mostly;) ) This method is also known as the “Cha Cha b**b slide”.

He announced with a sense of awe-

“Mom, your b**bs are long!”

From then on- I’ve remembered to close both my bedroom door AND the bathroom door before dressing.

Bundt cake butt- baguette boobs and muffin tops and all- this is the body I have- I think I ought to take better care of it—I’d hate to start feeling like “day old baked goods” in the clearance bin at the grocery.

PS have been quite sick all week- this post has been written under the influence of cough and cold medication the author may revoke any statements herein after the meds wear off.

MOPS convention was centered on “Dwelling well” One of the scriptures was pretty convicting:

1 Cor 6:19-20
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”

Dear Lord- Please help me to better care for the body you choose to dwell in- but while your here- help yourself to the baked goods- I’m all about hospitality! I love you Lord- amen.

2 thoughts on “Body by baked goods…..

  1. Jennifer says:

    My dearest Tracey,

    This post made me laugh so hard I had to cover my mouth and bite my tongue so as to not wake my toddler sleeping in the room above me! I can so relate!

    I knew I was pregnant when I went for a six mile run and came home, exhausted, after only three. I ran to week 20 or so. I swore I would start again as soon as I could, but momming and nursing really take it out of you! And now I’m weaning one while I’m pregnant with the next one. And I’m still telling myself that I’ll get back in shape after this one’s weaned!

    I do still walk, A LOT. All while wearing a baby or pushing a stroller. Lord, give me the strength to take care of myself.

  2. Rachel says:

    I sincerely hope you feel better soon, but cold meds or not, that was one of the funniest posts I’ve ever read! Oh my, I’m still laughing!

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