So— I knit.

Get up- make breakfast- clean it up.

Help locate items for school… get everyone off to school.

change diapers- wipe body parts….cook another meal.. clean up another mess….mop up the floor- feed the pets- do more laundry- cook more meals. clean up more dishes- argue with teenagers about their responsibilities….

Argue with a preschooler- about who is in charge. REALIZE I’m in a tug of war game with children…. and STOP “pulling the rope” (cause it always takes 2 to argue…)

Throw in a load of wash, fold a load of wash. Argue, some more.

Drive to about 13 different places- for 13 different reasons, arrive home- remember the 14th thing I was supposed to get- Drive around some more….

Cook another meal…. clean up another mess…..do more laundry……

Actually, it’s true- much of being a SAHM is REDUNDANT. Even, boring.

There are things that I will knowingly do today—- and recognize- that I will just have to do it all over again tomorrow.

Erma Bombeck says…”Cleaning house with small children is like shoveling snow before it stops snowing” (I absolutely loved, Erma!)

Erma’s right- but it still has to be done. And- I have a problem with that.

See- I’m a “results” driven woman. While in “theory”- I enjoy process, in fact- I love PRODUCT.

Mothering doesn’t work that way. Noses drip constantly- potty training is messy, floors will become covered in syrup-( ) often, at times when freshly washed. Laundry will be worn. Meals will be eaten. And all will need repreating tomorrow.

Sometimes , it feels like being stuck in the “Shampoo Sheol”.(ummm and yes- sheol is another word for he**! )… you know- shampoo, rinse, repreat…. shampoo, rinse, repeat….shampoo, rinse repeat….
A never ending cycle.

So, I knit. No- really. I knit. I’ve also scrapbooked- read, studied- etc….

At the end of the day- I have an “accomplished task”… even if it’s a few rows of knitting. With only a rare exception- (like someone playing jump-rope with my knitting- or the dog eating my needles- while in the project!) — no one comes behind me- and “undoes” what I’ve done….The progress I make today- will be added to tomorrow. I look around- and sometimes get frustrated- with all I’ve done today- that will need to be “done over” tomorrow— and in knitting- I can find a little PRODUCT.

Something that gets done, and stays done.

Mothering- caring for my home- and family- does NOT always show immediate results.

The bulk of my life is invested- “longterm”. Into things and in ways- that will show their results- EVENTUALLY. Which , I am fully committed to. I thoroughly understand the value of “being there” for my kids. Of building trust, and supporting them by providing for their needs- and being “present” in their lives. I am honored to be their Mom- and I’m thankful to be able to stay home…..

But- I’m also human.

Sometimes- it drives me nuts. I’ve told my Husband- it’s like someone erases the computer memory every day ( he works in the computer field) and everything he’s done is erased. I’ve explained it to my kids- like this: Imagine they turn in their homework- and the teacher erases all their work- and hands it back the next day instead of a grade- it’s a blank page. Sometimes- that’s what it feels like.

So I knit. It’s a creative activity that challenges me, (theres always more to learn) and provides a “Product” at the end of the day.

Well- and it’s something to do to avoid shoveling snow before it stops!

Some people will think it’s stupid- a waste of time, some will think I’m selfish- and ungodly because I should LOVE being home….(which I do- but m also honest about it’s not being a panacea of bliss) and some will “get it”…. I knit to balance my need for product- with my families need for long term investment-

It’s a win- win situation.

What do you do?

Dear Lord- I thank you that you make it possible to stay home and care for my family- but sometimes- it’s hard to keep the longterm goals in mind—- please help me to see your hand in all my work- and help me to enjoy the process of parenting, mothering and living in you!

I love you Lord- and thank you for the priviledge of serving you- every day!

But- ummm—- it WOULD be nice- if something I’ve cleaned would STAY clean! I love you Lord! amen